Baby

Baby, What'd I Say: Ten stupid pronouncements from people who should have known better

Always count on an expert to lay down BS with authority. Here is a gathering of quotations from throughout the decade, intended at the time of their utterance to reassure and state confidently some belief meant to mollify the masses. The next time you hear similar prognosticates confidently expressing some words of comfort with regard to the future, think back to these thoughts (and run for cover).

1) “The French are holding Indo-China, without which we would lose Japan and the Pacific.” Former Presidential Candidate Thomas Dewey, 1952.

Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

2) “The Ford engineering staff, although mindful that automobile engines produce exhaust gases, feels these waste vapors are dissipated in the atmosphere quickly and do not present an air pollution problem.” Dan Chabek, Ford Motor Co. spokesman, 1953.

Of course, there were fewer cars and more air back in 1953…

3) “If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it appears to be a minor one.” Dr. W. C. Heuper, National Cancer Institute, 1954.

What about excessively smoking minors?

4) “The big question today is, ‘how long will (rock and roll) last?’…It is our guess that it won’t.” Cashbox magazine, 1955.

With chart-toppers like “Yellow Rose of Texas”, “Autumn Leaves”, and “Sixteen Tons” following “Rock Around The Clock”, rock and roll had to happen.

5) “(A) few decades hence, energy may be free – just like the unmetered air.” John von Neumann, scientist, 1956.

Sorry – not even air is free anymore. Been to a gas station lately?

6) “(Man will never reach the moon) regardless of all future scientific advances.” Dr. Lee DeForest, inventor of the audion tube, 1957.

And to the “moon landings happened on a Hollywood film set”-crowd, he is still correct.

7) “I can assure you on the highest authority that data processing is a fad and won’t last out the year.” An editor at Prentice-Hall Publishers, turning down a suggestion to publish a “computer” book, 1957.

Now back to work on that chlorophyll manuscript!

8) “Unless we depart utterly from our present behavior, it is reasonable to expect that by no later than 1975 the United States will be a member of the (U.S.S.R.).” George R. Price, physicist, 1957.

And Nixon will be Chairman! Woo-hoo!

9) “Baloney.” J. Edgar Hoover’s response to his own bureau’s report detailing Mob activities in America, 1958. (He withdrew the report the day after it was first released.)

Proving Cleopatra wasn’t the only Queen of denial.

10) “I give Castro a year. No longer.” Former Cuban dictator Batista, 1959.

And if he isn’t out of my house by then, why I’ll huff and I’ll puff…

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